Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The life of a stay-at-home mom

Now I know why I could never keep a diary - what good is it to pour all that energy into something no one else is supposed to read. Maybe the age of blogospheres has reduced the need for therapy for all those people who used to keep private diaries, when all they really wanted was to share their thoughts with other people - no offense to therapists.

So why am I blogging? Well in the absence of a traditional office where I would otherwise keep busy working and socializing, I spend my days with my two toddlers and baby, who are plenty entertaining, but as far as being good company for conversation, let's just say it's limited. I do have a network of moms that I socialize with of course, but the kids demand so much attention that it is often just snippets of conversation that you can rarely ever wrap up.

Often these interactions get me thinking, and I feel the need to expand on those subjects here. Part of feeling satisfied with the life of a sah mom is to feel your day has as many facets as it did before, when you went to the office. Back then, most days I made time for a workout, work/social time, meal/personal time with my partner, household misc, and reading/personal time & sleep. Proportions not withstanding of course, I think that sah moms should be able to look back on their week and be happy to say that yes life has changed, but we are happy to say it's not unrecognizable from before, and in exchange for office work (in my case in front of a computer) I get to spend that time instead with these amazingly bright, enthusiastic, spirited little people that we're raising.

Sometimes people can have so much going well for them in their lives and yet not seem happy due to a few difficulties here and there. We all run into difficulties, but if you keep it in perspective that it is merely a situation to be dealt with, it doesn't have to change your underlying happiness in yourself as a woman, wife and mother. If you want to raise happy children, just remember they look to you as their primary role model.

Monday, March 23, 2009

who's the one that you want?

Woo-hoo, I have one follower besides myself, thank you! So I guess I should keep blogging now, who needs sleep?

Do you wonder when people talk about "the one?" Some people may be meant to have one love, but I think it's more common to have lived and loved more than that. There were multiple paths that led you to where you are and who you are with, or not with.

If you find you keep missing a person, it's bc you were meant to miss them. If you keep meeting great people or not so great people its bc you were meant to meet them, or not. You put out a cosmic energy that either helps you or prevents you from reaching your destinies.

Do things that are true to your soul and you can have faith in the path you are on. There are two paths to love and they are not about finding a soulmate. Both paths are about finding your love for yourself - your soul. One includes a mate and the other does not. If you love yourself, you may be lucky and find someone who loves you for who you are. Or, you could love yourself and be lucky not to be with the wrong person, and instead be just fine on your own, with friends who support you.

Who is the real you? You are your thoughts, deeds and dreams. It shines through in your personality. If you truly want happiness, you will find it. Some people deep down don't believe they deserve happiness and therefore will never find it. How simple to change this. Let go of the past and realize there are countless paths going forward and it's up to you to strike out on the most promising one simply by believing you have something to offer the universe. Make it happen, whether it's finding a new job or being good at your current job, making a new friend, listening to an old friend, helping a stranger, writing a nice note to a random person, start a blog : )

Thursday, March 5, 2009

give dads a break

I hear a lot of comments about how "daddy doesn't do it right," but let's give dads a break and put it in context. How much practice did your husband have with kids before becoming a father? I have a male friend who used to be a nanny, and he is great with kids. He felt pressure to get a "manly" job because people would say "I've never heard of a male nanny." I think a good response would be, "I'm getting great practice at being a father." Plus, if the job pays better than a conventional 9-5, why switch to a job you enjoy less?

There certainly is a double standard that men can't be just as good at childcare as women. Well, maybe if we encourage our sons to practice more at a younger age there will eventually be more men with experience in childcare.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

When your 3 year old tells you "I love you so much"

Just before bedtime, my 3 yo out of the blue says "I love you so much." Now, how many of us just smile and accept that as - my children are lucky to have such a great mom? That's what we should be reminding ourselves. Not that you haven't finished their baby book, or the laundry, or the other dozen things on your to-do list that you wish you had time for.

time flies, where does it go?

Time really flies by, I just realized my distant nephews who I never see anymore were one and newborn when I started college. Now 17 years have gone by and they are on facebook and they are now 18 & 17 and will graduate high school and start college next year in 2010.

The same goes for my husband's nephews, they are finishing high school and here we are just getting started with our family, and his sister is only 18 months older. I'm sure looking back it will seem to have flown by. Looking forward there seems to be so much time and so many stages to go through. All you can do is make the most of each and every day, and make sure you don't put off anything you can do now.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

we all have many destinies

Starlog 2 dash 18 dash 2009, oops wrong genre. Here goes my first blog entry ever: Stepping out of the mist...

I do my best thinking in the shower, but it's kind of like waking up from a dream. I can't always translate those thoughts completely as I try to recall them afterwards.

Do you believe in fate? I think that destiny is plastic. It changes depending on the actions you take and the decisions you make. It's like ripples in a pond, one action creates waves that spread out to touch others in its path. The calm that results is the achievement of contented fulfillment, a momentary destiny.

It's important to keep striving to fulfill your destiny. It will not come to you or happen to you if you do nothing. Only if you keep searching for your true self, what makes you unique, what you can do to make a difference.

I know I'm fulfilling my destiny bc right now I'm perfectly content being married and a full time mom. Now in five years, if I don't try something new, how can I still be happy and inspire myself, much less anyone else?

Going after your destiny is not about always looking for the next challenge and never appreciating the present. It's about knowing when to recognize you've achieved an interim destiny and enjoying it - be happy until you see something else on the horizon that will further your destiny.